I buried my dad two weeks ago today and my mom just over two years ago.  As I now look back I realize I never fully saw my parents for who they were until I had to bury them.  When they were still alive, my life was encased in theirs so I could not fully see them apart from myself.  On the day of their funeral, it was as if I was finally able to fully see them.  Then I realized that I had been blessed with a set of unusual parents that had seemed like any other set of parents until the day I buried them.

My mother who had trained in the UK as a nurse and a midwife, had joined the military when we moved from UK to Nigeria.  She eventually rose through the ranks and was a Major when she retired.  Thus my mother got a Military funeral, the first time that I had ever seen one.  There was a band, pall bearers, a 21 gun salute and a ceremony at the grave side to hand the family the flag that covered her casket and a pair of military shoes.  But what struck me the most was that mom also had 50 women from her church choir playing the violin at the service.  at one point I looked up and there was the military band on one side and 50 Christian women playing the violin on the opposite side.  that was when it really struck me, what a unique person my mother was.  Only my mother could have caused the military and a church choir to have reason to be in the same room together.  It was a picture of her life.  she was a warring angel.  she fought many battles in life , yet lived her life for the benefit of others.

Dad on the other hand got the funeral of a Chief.  Though he had lived in Lagos, a major city for most of his life where he worked as an accountant, he was very attached to the village where he was born.  he was greatly admired in that village and celebrated for his academic achievements.  As a chief, the preference was that he be buried there.  The pall bearers came in beautiful traditional clothes and at the end of the funeral service, did a damce I had never seen before.  It seemed like the whole town showed up for the funeral.  As I looked around that village, which remained just as poor as it had always been, I marvelled that my dad had started his life there and made his way through the world as he did.  He was the first in his village to go to Lagos, considered the big city in his youth.  He was certainly the only one from there who had gone to study in another country.  Like mom, he was trained in England which is where they met and got married.  Considering where he started out in life, it must have taken a lot of courage to aim for a very different world than the one he knew.

So now when I look back at the lives of both my parents, I see how unique they were and the imprints they have left in my own life.  I am so thankful to have had the privilege of being brought up by an army general and a chief who through their lives taught me to be adventurous, to seek knowledge, to face the battles of life, to have faith in God and to appreciate family.